Better Out Than In!

A strange question popped in my head the other day, why is there such a problem with farting in public around other people? With it being a natural body function you’d think that people would be more accepting of it.  After all there’s nothing more robust that hearing someone rip one, and then it being followed by that pungent smell of rotten eggs.

I think Shrek said it best,”Better out than in.”  The thought actually took me back to the days of dating my now wife, and slipping outside to squeeze one out, or attempting to bury one silently in the couch.  Oh and lets not forget about being ever so careful to keep the smell trapped in the cushion.  Now regardless of whether she heard or smelt it…she kept quiet about it.  Now that’s someone who really loves you!

I still remember the day I was granted my fart-pardon, and I was then free to let them rip as I may.  She asked me why I kept leaving the room, and in my best gentlemen voice I replied, “I did not want to fart in front of you.”  Boy did I have a sigh of relief when said that it would not bother her, because people fart.  Now with a free wind tunnel I was able to do it standing, sitting, play dutch oven, and who doesn’t love having one cheek up in the air…and bouncing one off a leather chair.

This begs a bigger question, at what age did our parents break of us from farting out loud when we needed to do it?  I simply cannot remember a conversation at a young age where my licence to fart out loud was revoked.  But somehow it was!  And it is still frowned upon in society today.  What a shame.

So why is it okay to go into a public bathroom to drop your deuce and let your farts fly at will.  Why if you really think about it, the only thing that separates you from the world are metal walls and a door.   Now I do know that it helps that the only identification you have is your shoes, but nonetheless you are still in their ripping them.  So my vote goes to public and open farting with contests in the office to see who can the loudest, and of course the stinkiest.  That way there is no hiding it or  blaming someone else – that’s including the dog.

The moral of the story is that real men fart out loud…be a real man and rip one for your friends and family.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *