It’s no secret that our relationships change over time. It’s also no secret that we allow the events of life to reshape who we are, and how we feel about the important relationships in our lives. What if I told you, “The Old Can Be The New.”
Back in the day which actually dates back over 19 years, my wife and I were newly married. And what a time is was! We were purely focused on putting each other first, and focused on doing things the other loved…this helped each other feel more loved by each other person. The coolest part was that they were little things like being considerate, cross-referencing time for events, leaving little notes, preparing dinner together, or just taking long walks.
I still remember how excited I was to hear her voice during some part of the day, or sneaking away to share lunch together. Well you asked why I would be writing about this particular topic. It’s because life a took turn on us called house, kids, jobs, and all of the responsibilities that come with it. And as a result of that – we went from first to last.
After many years of this we began to look at each other differently, and in some cases the trust was questioned on both sides. We were just so focused on the things we were doing for others, that we forgot to do things for each other. And of course that’s when the finger pointing of why don’t you do this anymore started? We each of course came up with our lame excuses, and were looking at each other rather than ourselves. And after this had gone on for a while, that’s when it hit me.
Why can’t the old be the new? We actually started talking about what we loved most about our marriage during our early years together. And the common theme was that we were focused on doing what we knew the other person loved. That decision helped the other feel loved and first to the other person. After all we are preparing our children to get the heck out of the house at some point, and those years we spend solely focused on them makes us strangers after they’re gone.
The exercise itself was simple. Take a look at those pictures where you’re wrapped around each other, and your smiles are from ear-to-ear. And then don’t just think about what you were doing at the time, but think about how happy you were to have someone you cared about so much sharing your personal space. That same environment can be recreated again, and it is as simple as making the decision to do so. Now of course this only works if you’re not close to killing each other, or your relationship is so far gone that the vary sight of your presence sickens the other person and makes them want to puke.
The true moral to the story is that happiness lays in those smiles from the past that can easily drive your future together. Life happens regardless of you or me, but we don’t have to allow our destiny’s to just happen…we can actually stir the wheel to that happiness. So let your old be your new, and bring back the things that put the smiles on your faces in those pictures of of the past.