The Curse Of The Mini-Van

I’d like to meet the person who came up with the concept of the mini-van, and heralded it as this awesome travel vehicle. When it truly resembles riding in a covered wagon like way back in the day. Oh did I forget to mention that if you’re a real man…the moment you sit in it, you feel as if your balls are being dragged behind you on the rear bumper.

We had a long trip ahead of us, so we were duped by the stories of the extra riding and storage space, the dual this and dual that, and the CD and DVD players. The captain chairs and gas mileage. They showed us multiple colors…some hideous, some neutral, but who can go wrong with silver.

We set out on our journey in our ball crunching chariot, and yes with my testicles dangling from the back! And let me tell you how cool you look when you are passing another vehicle…not!

No needless to say I will never adorn the inside or a minivan for the rest of my natural life. And hopefully they will not start using them as a hearse in the future, because my dead body will get up and walk out. How cool that I can actually star on the Walking Dead.

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